Kariong vs BUFC C Match Report

Expectations were high as the mighty 35Cs travelled to Kariong on a sunny Saturday afternoon. Although we were all struggling emotionally with the absence of Our Glorious Leader, there was cause for optimism – this was a team we had beaten once before, the back four was strengthened by the welcome return of Jase, and incredibly no-one was injured during the warm-up (which was of course conducted along the usual lines, and didn’t at all degenerate into kicking the ball around a desultory polygon of middle aged men).

Early signs were good; we had some early pressure and their defence looked vulnerable. However, as has been the case before for us, it took us going a goal down before we really stepped up. Kariong broke down their right, very much against the run of play, and managed to sneak one in. This seemed to energise us, and within a few minutes we had got one back after Payney got on the end of a great ball out of midfield and lashed it past the keeper. Buoyed on by this we quickly pressed again with a stunning run from Paul, who more than justified his considerable transfer fee by carving straight through their midfield and setting up Rod who calmly slotted home. We still weren’t done however, and added a third only a few minutes later when Kariong failed to clear a corner, which fell to Leigh who made no mistake of his finish. From 0-1 down to 3-1 up in a matter of ten minutes! Awesome! Terrific! Amazing!

Sadly however, this was not how things were to continue. As you might imagine, at this point the half time team talk was unusually optimistic. However, if you listened carefully, above the praise and encouragements you could hear the unmistakeable sound of a massive SELF DESTRUCT button being installed in our half. Within a few minutes of the restart this button had been firmly pressed, triggering the greatest defensive snafu since Colonel Olaf Von Bonkersdorf decided to insulate his Panzer tank with dynamite to keep out the cold. For some unknown reason, and in defiance of the formation drummed into us since birth by Our Glorious Leader, we were suddenly playing with only 3 across the back. OK, you might say, we still have a 2-goal lead and 11 players on the field. So what, came the reply from Kariong as a route 1 ball down their right was crossed to their forward who found a way through and then the net. Then this happened again. And again. Suddenly we were 3-4 down and confusion and disarray were taking hold. It didn’t help that we lost both Della and Jase to injury, but we just couldn’t seem to pull ourselves together. We did try and press, with some good link-up work down the wings, but unfortunately nothing came of it, and in the last 10 minutes Kariong added two more to cement a crushing comeback.

The final whistle went and as we trudged sadly from the field the sound of the ice-cream vendor’s bell rang out as if it was tolling a funeral. If anybody needs counselling, come and see me next week.

#TheLegendCommitsRitualSuicideInShame

Final Score: Kariong 6 – 3 Barnstoneworth