Match Report for Barnstoneworth North vs Barnstoneworth South

It was a game of 2 halves, The game of football was the winner – Hugh Jarse: a supporter narrative of the B South Vs B North Clash of the Titans.

Duffys Ground (Located in a run down rough area, do not travel in your car or wear nice clothes/watches – more atmosphere in a fish tank): I sat where Mark (former B Souths Manager) sat and it had a pungent smell of something very bitter. Perhaps a prelude to the game that was to unfold.

The Terrigal Committee had produced the weather wall earlier (a la the late Tony Greig) and moisture content of the ground was near bone dry….the game is on – all players were advised not to sweat too much as the criteria for abondonment was a near call.

Canteen review: Coffee not bad but not good. Lunch was a sausage sanga that tasted off. Couldve been the home brand sauce or the cow that had been dead for too long.

Warm up: Souths B over there and North B over there. Impressions? These Teams were in shape with the predominate one being round.

Game on: Round bloke passes to round grey bloke…back forth back forth.

Half time: Nil All.

Multiple opportunities for Juan the ‘B South’ South (I don’t think that far South) American striker but had to beat the 6’’ 3’ + central defender bouncers multiple times in the same move before entering the night club.

Needs to work on his fake outs, recycled wristbands and using his wing man. His Team offered advice of dressing up as club staff which has worked for some we know, but these desperate tactics are highly risky and mortifying if you get caught. Westy the South B Night Club Manager even went so far as to mimic the opposition staffs outfits with our kit. Something about being from the same night club.

The B North player called Forge WHO SOME SAY (visions of THE STIG here – well one half is) is 2 players came close to getting into the B South night club but alas was too heavy on his touch before the goalie forfeited his wrist band and bounced him. Some mumbling from Julian of having better luck at the Blue Oyster bar.

Full time: Nil All
The second half was much the same with the Forge having an opportunity late in the half running to the near side post and firing to the far side post. But Julian who is our most experienced bouncer again denied them entry to the night club.

Special mention to Willy who had a red hot crack at night club entry by trying to lob the Bouncers at the door but alas ended up on the roof of the door. There were other opportunities created by the B Souths matching it tit for tat with the B Norths.

In the end a fair result with the way it turned out – draw. Both Teams needing to work on gelling and their night club entries. But I will say the B South Night Club is the VIP version.

Players points 1,2 3:
Jules – Senior Night Club Bouncer
Willy – Crack ‘free night club’ entry entrepreneur – watch this space
Neal – one of the round blokes mentioned

First Gold Logie Award: Stuart McSwan (Movie: My 30 second Cameo before Injury: A Snipers Narrative)